You know the feeling you get when you’ve watched a fantastic movie and just have to talk to someone about it? That’s what I’m feeling right at this very moment. Unfortunately, it’s an odd hour and there aren’t too many people awake but if I don’t get these thoughts out, I might just die.
I write this, not just because this movie moved me somehow but because this stirred up so many memories where I’ve been told to keep silent because it was a matter of my pride or dignity. Funnily enough, there were times when I kept silent myself thinking that people would think that I was ‘that’ sort of a girl, not even realising that by doing just that, I was creating a part of me which needed to be shunned from the public.
“Girls who pierce their noses are sluts. Girls who wear short skirts are whores. Girls who smoke and talk to boys, prostitutes. Their parents haven’t brought them up right. Girls who stay out late and are seen at pubs, escorts.” Any of these sound familiar? This is what a girl who has a so called ‘WILD’ side goes through.
I’ve been called bipolar and sometimes I believe I am because there’s a part which I show the world and there’s another part which I tend to hide from the public eye, which is exactly the opposite of who I really am. I like to dress up, get drunk and go dancing with my friends whereas there’s a part of me which also likes to curl up, watch a movie or read a book. When did that decision of choosing one from the other brand me into a particular TYPE of woman?
There have been instances when I’ve been eve teased and groped by men on the road but I didn’t tell a soul because I was always worried about being in the limelight as the ‘victim’ of something which I brought upon myself. This was in broad daylight, on the main road, when I was dressed in decent attire which didn’t accentuate any part of my assets. And yet, here I was thinking that somehow I attracted their attention and it was my fault somehow. Do clothes matter? Does it matter that I’m drunk and supposedly asking for it?
This movie drove the point forward about a modern woman’s position in society, where she works just as hard as her male counterpart, has late hours and wants to stay apart from her family independently, without her honour being questioned. Women who smoke, drink, have late hours, hang out with men a lot are loose, should not be given the freedom to do these things and worst of all, it’s okay when a man decides to ‘tame’ her. A man raping or sexually assaulting a woman is a sign of him showing the woman her place and his masculinity is empowered by that act.
This is by far the most powerful word I came across in the film when it defined every emotion I’ve felt when somebody has tried to show me my place. We say no to violence, verbal and physical abuse in a relationship but funnily enough, at some point we all go back to it because as women, we are taught to endure.
My number was once leaked to a sexual workers website and I was harassed for weeks on end by strange people calling from all over the country. My reaction? I changed my number. I didn’t make a formal complaint to the police because I was scared of what they would call me. Why would anyone do this to me? Why me? Yet, they did and they got away with it. This was a couple of years ago and I’m still ashamed of what I let happen to me and funnily enough, every time I check my ‘others’ folder or check my Linkedin ‘inbox’, I know the horrific messages that await me. Do I do anything about it? Nope. I do what most women do… let things slide and forget about it.
I can’t hope for a day when I’ll have a man to come and save me from these situations because sometimes, it’s the MAN i’m tying to run from. My father thinks that I should learn self defence because it will train me to be prepared and AWARE of everything around me (FRIENDS unagi reference). While I ponder over that, let me go and clear my ‘others’ folder whereas all of you out there who are awake and reading this post, go watch PINK!