This stick in my mouth… the epitome of slow death… shows its end to me in vanity… “I DARE YOU TO LET ME GO”… knowing only too well that even if i do for that one single moment,i’ll be back to him before long… such arrogance… such boastful pride but i just can’t alter his ego… because i am like many others… DEPENDENT… so dependent that it feels like life would come to a standstill without him… damn him… he burns away in glory knowing that he rules my life…..rules over my moods… my joy… my exuberant joy… my blistering pain… i wanna let go but he holds onto me with a grip so aggressive that my lips black and teeth stained still long for that one last drag… that one last puff… while ends the life of one… hell… it’s a cycle… i use him to light me another… a stereotype… and as he begins to flicker into life again… he burns blowing smoke all over my face mocking me… “SEE I TOLD YOU YOU’D BE BACK!!”
I wrote this way back in college when I was trying out a lot of things, mostly as a sign of rebellion and yes, it did have me hooked for a long time. Now, years later when I’ve reduced the amount considerably and can even manage to stay clean for more than 2 weeks… this comes to me as a reminder to how much I was in fact… a slave to this addiction. Smoking is injurious to health and I firmly believe in it!