Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Booze

If you’re single, getting over a recent break-up and you like somebody, do NOT get drunk with that person. It normally ends up with you making out with the person, talking about really deep stuff which you definitely remember but honestly want to forget, make out some more and then end up falling in love with that person. It’s not your normal everyday romantic story but hey, I’m not your normal everyday person!

Love

When following that little episode you want to call fate but actually thinking that life were a sketch where things could be erased, you find yourself leaving your partner in romantic crime with a heavy heart; you know that you’re done for. When that little act is followed by sleep and pleasant dreams of the both of you together, take a gun and shoot yourself. It’ll save you the trauma of making the biggest mistake of your life which you will in turn call the most awesome thing that ever happened to you. You spend hours on the phone and can’t think of a time before this when you’ve been happier; when you have and you want to believe that it’s the best thing to happen to you since ‘The Beatles’. When phone conversations lead to weekend getaways and weekend getaways lead to meeting his friends and being introduced as his girl; yes… that is the time you should drop everything and run. You don’t because you believe that love is the meaning of life and all the lyrics to a dozen boy bands’ numbers which you can probably quote  from the top of your head.

Image

A Pair of Lovers by Vincent van Gogh

Long Distance

From being just a few hours away to being miles away from each other; you’re both convinced that love will see you both through… not realizing that love will probably be the reason to drive you both away from each other. 6 months – honeymoon period – my ass. 2 months tops and then  it happens… your first fight. You both love the passion when you fight and always want to end the day with an ‘I Love You’. You fight. You make up. You nearly break up but oh no, love keeps you together. More secret getaways and it feels as though nothing has changed and maybe it hasn’t. His eyes look into yours and they’re dancing with love and giddiness and you feel that emotion they talk about in romance novels. You know for real now that he’s your man!

Change

Time passes. The situations change. Boy goes away to college and now his priorities have changed as well. You are no longer on his speed dial and he doesn’t need to talk to you everyday to let you know that he loves you. It’s understood. Your insecurities get the better of you and you want an answer to trivial things like, “Why didn’t you call me the minute you woke up, like before?” “Why didn’t you call back when you saw a missed call from me?” “Why didn’t you call back last night when you said you would?” You fight. You believe that he’s in the wrong. You want him to be the same man you fell in love with. You crave for his attention. You dread him finding someone else to replace you. You know it can happen easily. You worry yourself to death. You try threatening him. You try saying everything in your power to keep him close but he goes further away. You go insane.

Hate

You hate each other and want to rip each others heads off and there’s nothing his friends or your friends can do to stop it. You try pulling back but the damage has already been done. You have long spells of not talking. You fight. You cry. You break your phone. You break up. You make up. You have work driving you insane and your boyfriend as well and you need to get away. Somehow, the hate has now dissolved into indifference and then you’re both hoping that it just goes away but it doesn’t. It manages to somehow dissolve into love again.

Epiphany

After 3 years of battling a long distance relationship, you don’t hate each other and you don’t love each other either. It’s just a feeling of inertia as he likes to call it. You’re in it because you’re accustomed to the routine of having someone to rely on or vent out. You hate everything about each other but you’ve loved each other too long to notice anymore. Conversation is minimal and you wonder why you’re still in it but then, there are these images you see around you of happier times when you loved stealing his t-shirts and wore them to sleep. You remember all the surprises you planned for each other over the years… You remember the sleepy ‘I Love You’s’… you relive all those wallpapers you changed on your phone and on your laptop to tell the world that you were in love… you check your inbox, reading all the mails you sent each other when you were smitten… you remember trips to Thol Lake and late night drives to DPS… you remember romantic dinners you’ve had together… you relive memories of discovering cities together hands intertwined and you realize slowly that he is still everything you loved about him back then and only more… you remember calls to just hear each others’ voices and never to really talk and it strikes you like a lightning bolt. Just when you were about to give up on him, you realize that you’re neck deep in love with him all over again and you can’t really help but want to write a blog post for him to say, “I Love You!”

Epilogue

He might never read this and I might never ask him to. Just knowing that I still love him is all the justice I require to join hands with him and fight our fight. The funniest thing is though, we’ve just been fighting our love… the time is soon coming when we will have to fight for love…  I’ll sleep happier tonight knowing that it’s all worth it, in the end.

Picture courtesy: http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/a-pair-of-lovers-vincent-van-gogh.jpg

Advertisements