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I’m blogging after a long time because I have had no time to vent, let alone think for so long that I felt almost handicapped until I logged in today and started typing. It’s such a beautiful feeling when my mind is thinking and my fingers are simultaneously transmitting those signals and translating them into beautifully synchronized words (at least I think so…)

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Do you know how it is to feel stressed beyond a level that even sleep is not a cure because you know that what is awaiting the next day is haunting your dreams. If you do, welcome to my world and if you don’t… I want your LIFE! The worst part of being in such a situation is, nobody understands the uneasiness, the irritation and the overpowering burden of a task whose deadline just never seems to die; unless of course there is someone else who is helping you rock the boat to stay afloat. (I don’t think that made any sense)

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 If I were a zebra, that would be happening to me.

My brother was telling me about this ‘Tibetan Singing Bowl’ he got his hands on which apparently makes him calm. I was intrigued by this and had to wikipedia it and voila… Singing bowls (also known as Tibetan Singing Bowlsrin gongsHimalayan bowls or suzu gongs) are a type of bell, specifically classified as a standing bell. Rather than hanging inverted or attached to a handle, singing bowls sit with the bottom surface resting. The sides and rim of singing bowls vibrate to produce sound characterized by a fundamental frequency (first harmonic) and usually two audible harmonic overtones (second and third harmonic). According to singing bowl researcher Joseph Feinstein, singing bowls were traditionally used in Asia and the tradition of making sound with bronze bowls could go back 3,000 or more years to the Bronze Age. Singing bowls are used worldwide for meditation, music, relaxation, and personal well-being. They are used by a wide range of professionals, including health professionals, school teachers, musicians and spiritual teachers. At this point of time, that is all my mind is thinking of… something peaceful…

I feel lonely and sad and nothing I do seems to make this feeling go away and that makes me more annoyed. The sultry monsoon climate isn’t helping my case either and over all… I just feel like taking a punching bag and beating it to pulp so that the inner peace finally comes to the surface. (In my head, that makes perfect sense) I want to scream and scream and scream until there is no shout left in me and then some. The purpose of doing such an act is pushing yourself to the zenith so that it ceases to matter anymore. I’m tired and sleep deprived and have one more night of craziness ahead of me and I feel like doing something maniacal. (I’m broke, lost all my data, haven’t had a Sunday off in nearly a month, stay alone in a room where a lizard is company, had to cancel a holiday planned with friends because some assholes decided to postpone a workshop leading me to travel there instead) If anybody thinks that life could be worse, don’t bother to rub it in. In case you haven’t understood this bit yet, I’m a whiner. That is how I deal with things.

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This is me, mostly after 1 Am

Just when I though all is lost, I stare at a postcard made by the school kids and I stop for a minute to gauge their everyday struggle of getting an education, where they fight with family to send them to school, do extra chores so that they can find the money to attend school, wake up at unearthly hours to do housework so that their siblings can be fed and I feel so petty, comparing my small little spoilt brat tantrums to theirs.

You’re right. Things could be worse. A holiday will come again… but these deadlines… they’ll eventually die, even if I have to personally KILL THEM!! I love how blogging cleared up my mind today. I’ll work happier tonight 🙂

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