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“What is your true calling?!”

This is a question which used to haunt me whenever I got a moment to myself to ask whether I was truly happy with what I was doing. I don’t think I was patient enough to come up with a solution and hence had to find out the hard way, falling down and picking up the pieces, never once looking back at everything that was left behind.

“I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.” – Marilyn Monroe

I’m 26 years old (I like mentioning my age as I think it’ll finally hit me one day as to how old I really am) and I don’t think I’ve figured out the answer to this question. I’m an Architect by profession, worked 2 years as an architect and then finally decided to leave it all behind me and do something different, which I hadn’t explored. I joined an NGO in Jaipur, where I got the opportunity to write and a few months later, was promoted to an Associate Senior Fellow in English where I teach children and train teachers; at the same time figuring out the flaws in the system of teaching English to children and devising new methods of doing the same. Is this what I wanted to do? I doubt it. Do I love what I do? YES!

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I look at faces when I tell them that I’m an Architect and I look at those same faces once I tell them I’ve made a career shift and am currently working as a teacher now in an NGO. They go from awe to disbelief and disappointment in less than a few seconds and it makes me strangely confident the minute I know that people don’t approve of what I do. (the rebel in me is always looking for that moment to revel in) Nobody understands how it feels until they’ve tried it out themselves but they’re always so quick to judge. I also know that all it takes to make their knees wobbly is asking them this one question, “Are you happy with the line of work you are in?” I don’t ask them because I realize that breaking their bubble is an act of intrusion and sometimes, it’s simpler having people living in bubbles than outside it.

I played basketball for my university when I was in college and was the captain of my college team 4 years running and didn’t deserve to win any of the matches that we did. I sang vocals for a few bands and made a lot of friends/ stalkers in the process. I was part of an NGO called Spic Macay where I met some of the greatest Indian artists from all over the country and had interesting conversations with most of them over a nice meal or in a cab, accompanying them to the concert hall. In the process, I also ended up finding a whole bunch of crazies who were all volunteers like me; buddies for life (I didn’t know that then, now did I?) and last but not the least… the boy who I fell for and whom I’ve shared a hate/love relationship ever since. Do I regret my years in college? No. Will I wear torn jeans and sit on pavements and get told off by professors for being a vagabond? Hell yeah!

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Me with a prosthetic tummy which cost more than the making of the movie itself

In the last few days of my career as an Architect, I also managed to do back-up vocals for an upcoming vocalist and act in a movie/documentary on commercial surrogacy.

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With the Director – Shayar Gandhi

 I blogged about a lot of issues which might or might not have made a difference to people; have had one of them turned into a small film; am a guest blogger at a few sites and I still continue to blabber about things I probably have no inkling of. I love travelling, sketching and clicking photographs. I love making friends and can speak Hindi, Gujarati, Tamil, Malayalam and English as well 2 introductory lines of Japanese. I’m in the process of learning French. Do I know what my life will be like a year from now? No. Am I okay with that? Yes. Do I detest people who are getting engaged, married and having babies? Uhmmm… my hormones get the better of me sometimes and I find myself yearning for what they have. Am I a horrible person for doing so? I think I am.

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My latest acquisition – Canon 600D

Do I earn enough money to live independently? Yes. Do my parents believe that? No. Do I have months when I have very little money to live on because I overspent on useless things? Of course, yes. I’m a shopaholic and during sale time, I tend to lose all sense of logic and rationality.

Do I have a support system? Yes. I know that when my bubble breaks and I come back to the reality that hits us all one day… We are just one in a million… These faces will put me back on track.

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My brothers.

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‘The Sherlock Era’ girls

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My House Buddies

Am I a mature and responsible adult? No. I wanted to make a mean cocktail and ended up with Sprite being splattered all over the kitchen after a disastrous encounter with the mixie. I get pissed drunk at pubs and have the audacity to tell an auto guy off for charging me Rs. 150 and I say that I will give him nothing more than Rs. 200!!

I’m a 10 year old in a 26 year old’s chappals. Do I have it in me to grow up and be a godmother/ fiance/ wife/ daughter-in-law/ sister-in-law/ mother?!!

Ehmm… I highly doubt it. Am I okay with that? Yes.

Are you okay with that?! 

This somehow ended up being a snapshot through the past few years and it makes me feel a little better, knowing that if I die right at this very moment… it will be knowing that I wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.

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