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I woke up this morning perturbed by a dream which would have made me so happy on any other day but today, it brought me to tears. I called my support system to share this dream as I cried to her on the phone in the wee hours of the morning.

I was getting married in that dream and when I woke up, I realized that I was facing the hard core reality of being alone, deeply in love with someone who has lost the will to fight. My family who would never have wanted to see this through, have been battling mentally and emotionally with their conscience and all what they have believed in to make my dream come true; only to be told that they needn’t anymore because I am alone again.

I don’t know which is worse, believing in love and waiting for someone to return or knowing that my sorrow is my family’s joy… I read the Bible this morning because I needed some release and then felt I had to read up a few lines of Kahlil Gibran which was thought provoking indeed. “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain… When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

I still believe in love, a pure form of it which cannot be altered by betrayal and heartbreak; one which will stand testament through all the pain and tears. I am not stupid or blind; I am in love.

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