I was sitting in front of a computer at work, on a SUNDAY trying to get some prints taken (2000 to be precise) for a training which was starting the next day, when my boss walked up to me smiling, reminding me to finish up a newsletter which was due in a few days and it took all of me to not scream and cry and throw a tantrum. I smiled and said that it would be done by the morrow, which I knew would require some magical multi-tasking powers and a sleepless night.
I walked out of the room, only to be reminded by someone else that I should have taken the prints and had them ready on Saturday. I bit my lip, smiled and said that the entire point of me working on a SUNDAY was so that I could get these prints done in my own time, without a million people interrupting me in the process. Some people should really learn when to NOT give people advice.
I grab my 3rd cup of chai for the day, which is probably the only thing keeping me going as I multi-task and finish up a document on my roles and responsibilities for a role I was given just 2 weeks past. The pressure is mounting and I am chumming and I want the entire world to know that so that they can just give me a break for a few minutes if not a SUNDAY, but no. That will not be because I am after all, a strong freaking independent woman who is supposed to keep it together and not lose it when the pressure starts to mount.
I go back to my room which is a depressing little cuboid as I have mentioned before in a post and read a book so that I remain sane and can remind myself that I have a life, when in reality… sigh… Who am I kidding? What life? I call my mother who is travelling and who casually happens to mention that my aging grandmother had a fall because her sugar ran low and I am still trying to hold back the tears as I try to remain as calm as my mother as she gives me this news. Now, I am really upset and just want to be comforted as the tears well up in my eyes and I let them fall onto the pillow as I pay no heed to them and continue reading.
The better half understands and then heads off with his friends to catch a late dinner as I remain in my depressing little cell with lizards for company. Now, I am enraged at the better half because I don’t know how else to emote and am frantically typing out hate messages to him on my phone. Thank god for good sense, which prevailed before I pressed send.
I lay awake in bed, wishing I was stronger and epitomize the word ‘INDEPENDENT’ as I go along with my daily routine at work and life, in general. And then I remembered this cartoon strip I had seen a year earlier and it made me laugh so hard that it sort of cheered me up a little. As strong and independent as I’d like to be, there is still a part of me which wants to be comforted and pampered like a little school girl. It made me realize that it is absolutely understandable to break down and cry for a few minutes to just let out the rush of emotions sweeping inside of you. Haha!! Want to know how that day ended? It ended with my better half putting me to sleep on the phone by telling me it would all be okay. I’m not that strong and I’m not ashamed to say it 🙂