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I’m back after a long hiatus and I have news, not big news like I’m getting married or something, which I also am by the way in a little over a month buuut I tried to cook. Stop rolling your eyes!! Anyone who knows me even a little bit can tell that cooking and me, we just don’t gel well together and that my friends and readers, is a fact. Anyway, so I have to introduce you all to a fellow colleague of mine who is probably the only reason I try and do anything at all in the kitchen because she told me that even when I’m horrible and useless at it, I should just chin up and try again. Jo, take a bow!

You might think that my will to cook started recently but no, it started a long time ago and every time I thought that I got something remotely right (translates to edible), the next time would be a disaster. This would make me quit trying. I also have to confess something. I’m a big fat snob when it comes to trying new things, either I ace it on my first few tries or I don’t do it. You can imagine how many resolutions I made and broke over the past so many years for the same reason. Again, stop rolling your eyes!!

Coming back to my present predicament, I made a biscuit pudding or what resembles one for my office party tomorrow. For all of you talented chefs (men and women who have mastered the art of cooking without having to struggle like me) who are wondering how something that simple could be messed up, I urge you to stop reading this immediately, Gordon Ramsay is calling. I did what every smart (so called) girl does when she wants to cook something, I called my mother. You must understand that my mother is no ordinary woman. She and her two sisters, just like my late grandmother and their mother are great cooks. They are the women who get complimented on anything and everything they make because they are superwomen!! Anyhow, my mother diligently told me how to make it and then, added… it’s not that hard to mess up. I think that was the moment when I knew that I would definitely prove her wrong. Sigh. I tried very hard to follow all the instructions but guess what, I don’t have layers. I just have one whole big mash of chocolate, biscuits, nuts, raisins, cherries and cream. Not a bad combination but guys, it ain’t Instagram worthy. Hell, I can’t even look at it!

I decided to refrigerate it, tell my mother and her sisters that I ruined a simple recipe such as biscuit pudding and die a slow death as I post about it. As you continue rolling your eyes, imagine the faces of my colleagues at work who’ll be eating my pudding!